My problem is simple – I am lonely. I am 45 years old and have only two friends and some acquaintances. I go to work and come home and that’s it! People say join clubs and evening classes but I am not a ‘joiner’.
Am getting a bit desperate.
I am so sorry to hear your story. I don’t have any other information about you but I guess the same principles apply to everyone, so here goes.
The first thing I can say is: well done! Admitting your loneliness is a big step forward and now the rest of your journey needs to be tiny, baby steps. Joining a class puts a lot of people off because it is too big a step and that should come later on. The fact you have a couple of friends and acquaintances is also a good sign, as it shows there is something likeable about you, and you are able to make friends, so let’s start there.
Don’t worry about making new friends – again that comes later. Just get friendlier with the people you already know. Again tiny, baby steps. Say hello to the newsagent when you buy your paper. Smile at the person who does your coffee. Go to the same checkout at the supermarket so you are served by a familiar face. Do the same at work.
This will help you flex your ‘friendly’ muscles and you’ll get better at it with practice. Carry on with your own interests so that you look happy and busy, as others hate ‘needy people’, and shy away from offering a hand of friendship. Keep a daily diary of your thoughts about how you are progressing – and remember: tiny, baby steps.