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I’m dreading my old school reunion

I have just received an invite which had made my blood run cold. Yes, it’s the 5 year invite to my old school reunion (my year only) – I hate this as I do not have happy memories of my schooldays there. Shall I tell them to bog off, ask them to take my name off the list or just ignore it? I really feel like telling them exactly why I don’t want to go.

Terry, Devon

Deafauntie says:

Phew! Strong words eh? You know – even hearing people have this problem, which explains why we have novels on this very topic, including The Last Time I saw You by Elizabeth Berg. You may find such books therapeutic reading, or you may want to hurl them at the wall. (I confess, I did that once.)
It really depends on the kind of person you are, and what you feel comfortable doing. In your original email (not included here) you say you want to write – why not do exactly that? Try several drafts until you feel you’ve got it right, and it says exactly what you want to say, without insulting anyone else in the process. Alternatively, you could simply wait for the next invite in five years – by then, you’ll have had plenty of thinking time to know what you want to do!

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3 responses to “I’m dreading my old school reunion

  1. Only go to a reunion if that part of your life brings back happy memories. Otherwise, don’t go and ignore the invitation. If they chase you up, just say that you can’t make it and decline the invitation. Ask for your name to be removed from the list if you feel that strongly. Don’t give your reasons why as you’ll simply come across as being embittered and do yourself no favours.
    I’m talking from experience here but not going into details as I believe in the saying “the past is another country”. Let sleeping dogs lie and enjoy your life. Best wishes.

  2. Life is to be enjoyed not endured. I did aviod reunions for many years and decided after a while to attend one and was glad of my decision not attend the earlier ones!!.

    However there are other ways of maintaining contact for example facebook, and it helps to be able to control who you allow back in your life and at the same time “keep the door open”.

    I think the older one gets the more likely you may want to reconnect at some stage. In my experience I have discovered new friends that I never thought would be my friends in later years!

    So dont close the door completely. Keep in touch with those you trust, and attend the odd events not renunions. You may be pleasantly surprised as I was.

  3. You do not have to do it if you do not want to, why force yourself! Assertiveness means you do what you feel is comfortable for you. You do not need to explain why!

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