I loathe Facebook

I have to tell you – I absolutely loathe Facebook! I think it brings up all sorts of feelings for me, especially the sense that “everyone’s having a much better time than me”. What do you think?

RB in the North of England

Deafauntie says:

You may be surprised to know that I feel exactly the same way sometimes! Common sense then takes hold and I study exactly what people are posting about themselves. Some of it is utter drivel (which holds a horrible fascination for me) and some postings are very sweet and thoughtful which makes me stop and think for a moment. Maybe you can choose who to accept on your FB and have only those who are warm and supportive of you. You may want to build your FB around certain interests so the whole experience has some relevance and meaning for you. Why not try that for a couple of months and see how it begins to feel for you? If your response is still the same then you know where the delete button is.

8 responses to “I loathe Facebook

  1. It is all down to how you use facebook. I dont have “thousands” of friends like some do! I find that rather suspect unless that person is using it for other means.

    I restrict to a certain group of people that I do want to keep in touch with in a modern 21st Century fashion on basis of common background, and viewpoints. And YES there are some people that will come on board and will be “odd” yes delete and delete is the answer.

    yes at times it will seem that others are having good times. But if you have true facebook friends, it can be very liberating for individuals to admit to a bad time, getting support and advice. It does happen. Again that is down to you and your choice of who you wish to be “friends” with.

    One thing I always do before I delete anyone (which is not that often now) is to explain and tell that person why and the objection I have for that person’s behaviour and viewpoint before I “block” anyone. That is just a decent thing to do and who knows it may help that person to realise that their behaviour/attitude/ etc was unacceptable generally. It does work given time.
    So dont dismiss facebook entirely, it can be a wonderful tool to enrich your life. Just be careful of who you choose and do not be afraid to make sensible decisions and say “right enough is enough, I wont accept that behaviour” and press that “delete/block” button with total confidence.

  2. I fully support what Laraine has said here – choose carefully who you accept on your FB and ensure that you have put your privacy settings on high so it is limited to your friends that you have accepted who can see what is being written on your page. Quality not Quantity

  3. I fully agree with what has been said. I joined Facebook a few years ago and to appear popular I friended lots of people I didn’t really know who all seemed happier and more popular than me but never responded to my postings. I got so depressed about it that I closed my account.I have now rejoined and only have a few friends but they are all people who I really care about and it’s been a completely different experience. I also make sure any comments I leave are positive and do lots of liking and it builds up warm feelings. Its a great way to keep in touch if you don’t take it too seriously.

  4. Fantastic feedback here. Glad to know that I am not the only one feeling sidelined as I often get depressed when I see people having had a nice time at a ‘party’ to which I was not invited. Ok fair enough, but it is hurtful and I think…what is wrong with me??? What have I done?? Am I a bad person? Am I not likeable? It is all self defeating behaviour and I often forget to stand back to take a impartical perspective on the situation.

    I remember a valuable comment made by someone ‘Count on your hands, who your true friends are’ and I said a certain number which was within one digit and felt deflated. That person said no, that’s special. People can have many friends, but not all of them are true friends. It is like a saying ‘You know who your friends are in a crisis’. I totally agree with all of you – some interesting perspectives including the person who raised the question.

    Have a lovely day!!!

  5. Most people I know don’t actually like Facebook. I certainly don’t – I find that a lot of the time people use it to complain (and not do anything about it), or to spread views that I don’t agree with. On the other hand, the conundrum is that almost everyone is on Facebook. My friends don’t really email anymore because they have Facebook email. I find it a little lazy in a way, to be honest! I love sending and receiving emails and letters, but they are a dying breed of communication when everyone operates via FB. I’ve discovered that it is a good way to keep in touch with people you’ve lost contact with, or to network (especially for freelancers and bloggers). It can be a good place to keep in touch with friends, but again, it depends how you use it, and who you choose to be ‘friends’ with. I find that there are a lot of acquaintances on my FB and whilst that’s okay, I think its unhealthy for my state of mind to spend a lot of time on it, because to be honest, I feel like I need to be out there living my own life, rather than worrying about whether or not I’ve been excluded from a meet up or if that person has a better job/life/etc. I find that hurtful but sometimes you realise who your real friends are – and they wouldn’t exclude you. So definitely count your blessings, even if you only have a couple of wonderful friends. That’s okay! Not all of us are social butterflies 🙂 So you’re definitely not alone in finding Facebook a minefield!

  6. People use Facebook for a variety of reasons. High-profile or public figures use social media for marketing purposes, rather than as a way of convincing themselves they’re really popular (although they may have insecurities of their own about being public figures that we don’t know about).
    Others use Facebook to help them promote something. They may have created a page for a business, service or product and it’s just easier for them to collect lots of ‘friends’ who they then invite to ‘like’ the page, but then again afterwards, they might do a cull, especially if they only became ‘friends’ with someone because of the service, product or business.
    So if they get invited to parties and you find out about it on Facebook, it might not necessarily signify that they’re best friends – it might just mean they found a project to work on together, and the party is an extension of that. They might not necessarily have more true friends than you do.
    It’s very interesting how subtle social and professional boundaries become with Facebook. The key word here, I think, is ‘friend’ – it can really fool people.
    One important thing I learnt recently is how Facebook becomes a window into the world for carers who can’t get out of the house because of heavy caring responsibilities for someone who is ill, disabled or older. They do a lot of ‘liking’, commenting and ‘befriending’ on Facebook because that’s the only way they get to socialise with other people. They could even be ill or disabled themselves, further limiting their access to an actual social life (this is quite common with carers).
    So don’t take too much heed of what happens on Facebook – it’s not a true reflection of the social lives people lead, only what they choose to show others. As Lizzie says, your real friends would never exclude you. They will always be there if you fancy a drink, a chat or going shopping, and that’s what really matters.

  7. I share the sentiment as well. I loathe Facebook, and all other wesites who force you to use it for their commentaries, or else… such as Huffington Post. No thank you.

  8. I share the sentiment as well. I loathe Facebook, and all other websites who force you to use it for their commentaries, or else… such as Huffington Post. No thank you.

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