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My problem is not work, but love! Where can I find someone new?

I read your column with great interest. I notice lots of the problems you get are work-related.
My problem is not about work – I am fine with that – but love! I just can’t find anyone. My friends keep nagging me to get out and meet real people and not rely on dating agencies. But none of them have produced one girl I can meet!
I remember that BDN (British Deaf News) had a Lonely Hearts column. What happened to that? Please, please don’t tell me to join an evening class. Been there, done that. What am I going to do?

Richard

Deafauntie says:
You are right – deafauntie doesn’t receive many personal problems. We’d love to get more!
I don’t know what age you are (except you are under 60 obviously). The reason for my asking is that solutions for each age group might vary slightly.
I obviously don’t need to talk about evening classes, interests, or dating agencies (all of which produce different results) as you have tried them all.
It might be worth tweaking each of them though. Isn’t this what you do at work when you are faced with a problem? Slightly change things to see if they produce a better result?
You obviously enjoy your work. If it is a large firm, would they have clubs or social events with speakers etc? Maybe try a subject you have some real enthusiasm for rather than just a class, because you are free on Tuesdays? Often an enthusiasm, hobby or interest attracts friends, who then bring along their own friends. That is sometimes the way people meet a new partner.
Maybe throw a party and ask everyone to bring someone new? That can be the party theme. Maybe we should ask the BDN to set up their Lonely Hearts column again? (I know two couples who met that way).
Having a relaxed attitude with plenty of enthusiasms and interests often make a person more attractive. I’d be interested to see how some of our readers met. Hopefully they will write in!

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One response to “My problem is not work, but love! Where can I find someone new?

  1. oh boy that’s a loaded question and answer session. To be fair I am now old enough to have had several relationships and all of them have been with hearing people. How did I meet them? No common story there at all, except I only met them by going out socially. At a party, or as part of a group at a nightclub, or when I have a party at home. I met one person at my own dinner party or at another person’s dinner party…

    So what am I trying to say here?

    The best way of meeting someone special is to be social. It does not have to be every night! So next time you get an invite to a pub, nightclub, or dinner party or even theatre, museums….make the effort! Smarten up or fancy dress, be interesting and have fun. A smiling face, and a happy personality will get you places.

    On a more serious note. I do understand that deafness makes it harder. This is where you need to be patience, and take your time, especially if you are in a “hearing world”. Quality is always better than quantity.

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